You think I'm going to give you 50 claps for that rant? It' only deserves 49. Talk to me when you're 81. There's nothing worse. You're maxed out the sexiness of 80. Everybody thinks it's cool when you say you're 80 and you fantasize about sex (look it up). But at 81 they think you're a creep. So happy birthday and enjoy it while you can. You'll be 81 in the blink of an eye. Then come and talk to me. Ooops, you won't be able to.
Seriously, this was hilarious. I'm jealous. Going to look for more of your "youthful" work.