Susan, we all have different motives for writing our stories as well as our acts. I have more to say about my writing choices, as a result of this and a few other pieces. Medium is a welcoming platform, among other things. I can’t speak to your situation, but if writing your story from your perspective, and then reading mine or someone else’s gives you more clarity, then it’s a good thing. Obviously, it ‘s a situation that causes you great pain.
I’ve come to believe that guilt wastes our time. If you’ve reconsidered the piece, then unlist it or speak to Medium and explain you don’t want it up for personal reasons. Perhaps your account will help someone else. Or writer another one if you see the situation from another perspective at some time.
Also, we all have wounds, yet we’re accountable for our actions. I have known two murderers in my life. I can feel compassion for them because of the circumstances, one in particular. Yet I also believe they needed to be incarcerated for their crimes. So yes, it can be helpful and important to understand your brother’s wife. That would help you with your anger and help you develop compassion. But be clear, it wouldn’t absolve her of any wrongdoing.
These situations are difficult, but you’re thinking this through. You’ll come out the other side in time. And that’s critical. I send you my best wishes.